Sometime back I playfully asked my wife, “Who do you think is more romantic, you or me?” I was feigning innocence, confidently expecting that she would have no choice but to acknowledge me as the more romantic partner.
Instead, she blindsided me when she calmly replied, “I don’t think either one of us is that romantic.”
I was shocked! What about all the lunches or dinners that I take you to? Or what about our date nights? Or what about the sweet things I say to you or the way I help out at home?
She acknowledged that those things are great and that she’s very appreciative… but they’re not necessarily romantic.
She might as well have gut-punched me! All this time I thought I was a romantic, and now I’m discovering that I’m a nice guy, maybe even a good husband, but not the Romeo I thought I was.
WHERE'S THE SIZZLE?
One of the most common refrains we hear from married couples everywhere is that their relationship has lost its sizzle. As vague as that sounds, we all know exactly what it means. We enter marriage believing ours will stand the test of time – that the euphoria we felt during our dating days and engagement period will persist throughout our entire married life.
Then somewhere, somehow, at some unidentifiable time, life deals us a cruel blow and we realize that we must actively nurture and fight forward in our marriages just like so many others. We become anxious about the survival of our relationship and may even wonder if the missing spark signifies the beginning of the end for marital romance.
This is where too many couples find themselves. So what is romance? And what should it look like between a husband and wife?
Romance is one of those intangibles that can mean different things to different people. Although being romantic may not be exactly definable, it is certainly describable. Just ask any woman as you watch a romcom together, and you can hear the chorus of “awws” whenever something romantic takes place between a couple.
In essence, an act of romance involves doing something special to express one’s love or affection for another in a uniquely meaningful way. To help feed the flame of love in your marriage, follow these guidelines.
5 KEYS TO KEEPING ROMANCE ALIVE
1. Personalize it.
Romance doesn't have a universally accepted definition; what sets hearts fluttering in one marriage may barely raise an eyebrow in another. Don’t try to adopt a one-size-fits-all approach with flowers and chocolates for every occasion.
2. Presentation matters.
Demonstrate to your partner their importance in your life by making them feel special, knowing that you went the extra mile. Package your romantic efforts with originality and sincerity.
3. Be passionate.
The Bible depicts vivid images of lovers. “Kiss me—full on the mouth!” (Song of Solomon1:2). This is a verse that stirs passion. Be quick to physically and verbally express your affection. Kiss one other frequently and wholeheartedly.
4. Plan ahead.
While spontaneity can be incredibly exciting when it plays out just right, romance typically requires some planning. Be intentional! Put thought and creativity into your romantic gestures. Love doesn’t grow automatically on its own!
5. Practice, practice, practice.
Remember, at the altar you promised each other a lifetime. Only you two can shape your marriage into the storybook romance you both desire.
Determine to forge an unwavering commitment to your marriage covenant. Proclaim by your words and actions that each other’s love and companionship are worth fighting for.
Echoing the lovers’ sentiments from Song of Solomon: “He’s one in a million. There’s no one quite like him!” (Song of Solomon 5:10) and “There’s no one like her on earth, never has been, never will be. She’s a woman beyond compare.” (Song of Solomon 6:8)
Great reminder! Being intentional and planning is key. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the day-to-day.
I sure do love this!! What great advice!