Dec 14, 20233 min read

Where are you Christmas? - A Mother's Perspective

By Janet Biagini

As the familiar melody of this cherished song fills the air, it evoked bittersweet emotions for me as a parent whose grown children are scattered across the country. The song spoke to me because Christmas no longer felt like Christmas. Our children grew up, had their own families and wanted their own traditions. To be honest, I felt lonely, abandoned, and even unloved. But I knew that those feelings were actually about change—sometimes you hurt when something changes because it’s different or unfamiliar.

In spite of the loneliness which can often come with this time of year, it’s important to remember that our loved ones are always in our hearts. After time and tears, Ron and I embraced our new reality that everyone would no longer be together during the holiday season. It was okay to let our children celebrate Christmas in their own homes, carrying forward their new, cherished traditions. It was actually healthy. Although our lives have changed and traditions may have been abandoned, we can find comfort in the memories of past Christmases.

HERE'S THE BEAUTIFUL TRUTH

Allowing our children to create their own magical memories doesn't diminish the joyful moments we shared together in the past. Instead, it underscores the enduring love that binds our family, no matter the physical distance or time that separates us.

As parents, it's crucial to resist the temptation to manipulate our grown children by burdening them with guilt. Healthy, thriving relationships are built upon respect, empathy and freedom—not guilt.

Like our Heavenly Father, we must give our children the space to develop and grow into who they are meant to be.

PRACTICAL STEPS TO SUCCESSFULLY EMBRACE YOUR NEW SEASON

🔺 Pray and Seek Guidance

First and foremost, pray and seek guidance from the One who knows your heart intimately. Entrusting our grown children and their families to God's loving care creates a firm foundation for their journey, and ours.

🔺 Release Expectations

Release any expectations you may have. Embracing change is difficult, but by letting go of expectations, we open ourselves up to the new possibilities and joys that this season can bring. Allow yourself to be present and find delight in the beauty of each moment.

🔺 Communicate Openly

Share your thoughts, hopes, and feelings with your children. Engage in open and honest conversations that nurture understanding and allow you to grow closer. Remember, it's not about control but about connection.

🔺 Embrace Change

While the holidays may be different from what you're used to, or even what you imagined, create memories in new traditions—such as hosting a virtual gathering or trying out something new at the holidays.

🔺 Invest in Your Personal Growth

As your children establish their independent lives, it's important to nurture your own passions and interests. If you cultivate a rich and fulfilling life of your own, not only will you find joy and purpose—but so will your children. They'll be inspired to live meaningful lives because of what they learned from watching their parents do the same thing.

Remember, the true spirit of Christmas is reflected in the way we treat others. Let us be guided by faith in our relationships, taking the time to consider how we might better love one another.

Take advantage of this time to start new traditions with your loved ones—and let those traditions become a beautiful part of your family's history.